i’m tired and irritated and i worked a 12 hour day the last thing i want to do is sit down and write this but here i am writing because of a commitment i made to myself to exercise my muse so no my dog did not go outside today but my inspiration gets to voice her issues i need chocolate and wine preferably red but i’m carb free forever to keep diabetes at bay so everything chocolate has to be sugar-free and it’s too much to think about all the things i have to do from washing the dishes to picking up dog shit to cleaning out the crap that builds up behind the stove to buying new school clothes and booking a me-cation cause lets face it a relaxed me is so much easier to digest than the me you see right now i really would rather be vegging on the couch eating a happy meal and drooling over that hot vampire on true blood than writing this but a commitment is a commitment even if its made in a stupor of non-coital wonder and this chocolate is old what was i thinking ruining my diet this way all because i’ve had a not so bad day that included a walk by the riverside and short photo shoot how i love yellow and wildflowers and breezes that drift in off saltless waves but it was only a lunch break and then it was back to smiles and happy chatter about summer vacations and trips down memory lane the unrequited love of teenagedom that landed into a too dry steak and salad dinner but there was wine so that’s something and this has turned into a rant and i really hate rants but i don’t have the energy or empathy to clean it up and even though there’s guilt flooding through me now i remind myself i really didn’t want to write tonight but for some reason i’m glad i did

good nite.