I get asked this a lot
I think people feel sorry for me
Living this singular life
The one apparently left behind
I’ve spent a lot of time and quite a few dollars trying to answer it
Believing that somehow my life must be lacking
Why else would I be so invested in Yo Gabba Gabba or watch Finding Nemo 12 times in a row
I mean really what grown A– woman wants to spend the afternoon cross-legged on a dirty Circus floor

But the truth is…
I’ve swam in the Pacific, Atlantic, Gulf of Mexico and the Italian Riviera
I’ve written, self-published and sold more than 1,000 copies of my own books
I’ve been a business owner, a boss and a subordinate
I’ve gone to meetings that got divided into committees that got split into subcommittees that became workgroups
I’ve climbed a mountain and gone snorkeling with dolphins and looked sea turtles in the eye
I’ve stood on the edge of the Grand Canyon taken a deep breath and Thanked God
I’ve been hire fired promoted overlooked and talked about
I’ve left jobs kept lovers and been questioned for shoplifting
I’ve bought a house totaled a car and blown up a computer
I’ve survived a hurricane an earthquake (thank you California) and had a tree plant itself on my car while I was sitting in it in the middle of the worst tornado storm Detroit has witnessed
I’ve made money hand over fist and spent some time dancing with bankruptcy
I walked down the aisle to marry the love of my life while 500 family and friends witnessed and stood alone in a courtroom when he decided he’d had enough
I’ve walked a mile in under 7 minutes and I’ve gained 25 lbs in less than 45 days
I finished my undergraduate in 3 years and was the youngest graduate student in my program
I lived in Italy learned to swear properly and order wine by the carafe
My skirts have sometimes been too short and my blouse too low
I have a habit of coloring my hair red red and when I laugh it sounds like sirens are going off
I love big and when my heart is broken it looks like armageddon has come to pass
I’ve fought toe to toe with my father and have never stopped grieving his death
I’ve driven cross country alone in a stick shift missing a 5th gear to participate in an anthropological dig and found an artifact older than America
I’ve tried my hand at gourmet cooking and prefer my greens vegetarian style with ginger
I’ve spoke my mind and been both applauded and escorted out of very nice places
I’ve meet with governors and been called on the carpet by the mayor
I’ve overseen millions of dollars and suffered through a years worth of insomnia after being told to laypeople off
I’ve walked to raise money for cancer research and sat in to protest sexual crimes against women and children
I’ve managed a political campaign and voted for more losers than I care to count
I once visited an Air Force recruiter to enlist and walked out mid signature because he told me
I was too short to fly a plane
My protests have rarely been silent and as yet not ground breaking
I’ve laughed at funerals and bawled at births
I learned to play the harp at 17 and belly danced at 36
I’ve been to Disney World Vegas and stood on the four corners joining Arizona New Mexico Utah and Colorado
My yeas to life have far outnumbered my nays
So at 40 the one thing I’ve always truly wanted to do but hadn’t done before is parent

I want to be there when he gets his first drum solo
I want to talk about the merits of having a pillow versus a dog soften the blow after trying his first back flip and
I want to be the one to explain why Christmas has absolutely nothing to do with Santa Claus
I want to be there for every triumph and comeback
I want to be told mama don’t yell so loud at the ceremony and dance at his wedding
I want to bake cookies neither of us should be eating and be the soft place to land
I want to laugh at Spongebob’s antics and be the one to explain how Anakin became Darth Vader

I’m not the easiest person to live with but with me
You know you’ll eat the house will have heat and there will be a reason to celebrate every week
I’ve held the position downward facing dog for longer than 20 minutes and
Can stand in mountain pose for an hour
Meditation is a walk and God and I are in a continuous conversation
My life has been full and fun and heartbreaking and rich and scary
Motherhood is the thing I’m doing and it’s the only thing I really want to do
It drives me crazy and leaves me breathless every minute of everyday