grief is a gift or a sucker punch to the throat (either way)

grief is a gift. there are hours, days, weeks, months when you mistakenly imagine you’ve moved on. that your sadness is dissolved. your loss resolved. your grief complete. and then from nowhere you’ll read a seemingly innocent post from a friend on facebook and it transports you right back in time to another space where your loss is more real, more tangible, than it was only a moment before. the days those moments don’t feel like sucker punches to the throat are the best days.

we can’t keep praying if we’re going to keep lying

it’s stunning how one moment you’re falling to your knees as the radio or television informs you there has been a mass shooting. i don’t know how many prayer vigils we’ve had at this point. how many times we’ve said this is too much. how many times we’ve packaged cards and well wishes and facebook profiles sending condolences to families and communities and cities.

a new and alien purpose

selfishness is a word that does not compute to a generation raised to see themselves as part of a whole. in households such as these your purpose is to serve the greater good. anything outside of the greater good is sinful and will be examined like a cancer. the idea that you would do something just for you because you wanted it is foreign and frankly disturbing. until you wake up and the others who made up we have gone their own way and you are the only one left holding up the banner of ‘our.’ at that point charting a course for selfish becomes a new and alien purpose. 

untitled (day 21)

never been one for small talk and empty conversations. i just can’t stand pretense and don’t understand why so many people waste their time and energy pretending to be more or have more. there’s nothing wrong with what you have or where you are or who you are. when you give someone five minutes of you, you’re giving them the world.

#whyiwrite a ditty for national writing day

i don’t know why grown ups ask kids what they want to be when they grow up if they really don’t want to know the answer. if it’s just polite conversation they are making they should offer any commentary. in most polite conversations you’re only role is to nod and um…hmm… it’s definitely not to offer advice

conciliation concluded in 50 words

what is more heartbreaking, ending a long term love affair or breaking up with a life long friend? walking away from conciliatory relationships, however, is critical to your health and well-being. at some point in each of our lives we come to a point where we have to accept the fact that this is not what it appears to be. and when it’s not truly love, leave.

because #metoo is just too much

i don’t know a woman who doesn’t have a story.  i don’t know a girl who hasn’t had to be brave. i don’t get how anyone is surprised by the pervasiveness of sexual harassment and sexual assault. the idea that so many women and individuals who identify as femme have to once again ‘out’ themselves in order to bring this issue to light, astounds me. it’s time we stop pretending we don’t know this is happening. it’s time we stop faking the funk. it’s time we all say no more. enough. this isn’t the culture we want our children to inherent. this isn’t the culture we want to live in. this isn’t who we are. unless of course, it is.

it is possible to genetically code terror

the impact of america’s peculiar institution of slavery did not end once the south surrendered in 1865. the legacy of slavery can be found even today. it has deep and strange roots. and we do not speak of it. 4 million americans were freed at the end of the civil war. 4 million. yet we do not speak about slavery. we do not think on it. not as a nation. if you ask her america treats it’s slave history like a cold it had once that’s now gone.