it may not be ‘the bluest eye’ but…

so i can pretty much ascertain that this book is about a woman torn between her husband’s ambitions and her own. i have no idea how its going to end. hell, i have no idea what going to happen next. i should really plan something at some point in my life. ANYWAY, here’s today’s exert:

Poppa’s flat refusal to allow Alec to marry Anna was shocking. After giving his refusal, Alec stunned had asked Poppa why he didn’t want Anna to marry him. Anna’s grandfather had told Alec, “You’re a distraction. I know Anna loves you. I know you love Anna. But you’re a distraction. And I don’t think you have real staying power.” Poppa was never one to hold his tongue but Anna thought his words were harsh and out of order. She told him so but he was unmovable. He’d told her, “Anna you have big dreams. Big hopes. Marriage may be on the scale but it’s never been priority one for you. I don’t ever want you to sell your dreams in exchange for someone else’s hope. I want you to live a life rooted firmly in who you are and what you wish to contribute to this planet. I can’t see you doing that as a politician’s wife. So I’m not giving my blessing.”

Anna had gotten so angry with her grandfather for withholding his blessing she moved out of the house and in with Alec. Her actions nearly gave her mother a devote Catholic, a heart attack. Their small close-knit family was in shambles. Anna having inherited her grandfather’s stubbornness, announced to them that as long as he withheld his blessing she would just live in sin with Alec. Secretly Anna was perfectly fine with not getting married. Marriage had been Alec’s deal breaker. Anna believed that Alec loved her but his ideas about love and marriage to her were antiquated and she felt that as long as she was loving him and committed to him that should be enough. Her grandfather putting the cabash on their union had given Anna an excuse to postpone a wedding. But her mother, who truly believed Anna would go to hell if she continued to live in sin, intervened and a compromise was established. Poppa agreed to bless the marriage as long as Anna and Alec agreed that Anna would complete her MBA with the University of Michigan before they even considered having children. Then Anna got caught up with her work at City Hall and then she was asked to start a company with a multi-billionaire and then Alec asked her to have his baby. Anna knew that Poppa was not going to back down this time. There would be no compromise.

Anna stopped picking through the peas and turned to face her grandfather. He had taken off his glasses and pushed his coffee cup and newspaper aside. This was going to get serious. “I should never have given my blessing, “He started. “Alec is too full of himself. He will do anything to get his way. Even if that thing is derail his wife’s goals and ambitions.” Poppa wiped at his forehead. “Any man who has to put a woman down in order to feel more like a man…like a head of anything…is only part of a man.” He sat back in his chair. “I want you to be happy, Annie. I want you to feel like you can make a difference in this world. If you were the kind of woman who could have that feeling with raising children and keeping a home. I’d say more power to you. But you aren’t, so I won’t.”

Anna wanted to defend Alec. She felt obligated to tell her Poppa that this had been a mutual decision. That she wanted to have a baby. That she was madly in love with the idea of becoming a mother. But she knew that her mother, her aunt and most definitely her Poppa would see right through that foolishness. They all knew that Anna’s ultimate dream was to be part of a DC Think Tank. They all knew that Anna loved children but never felt the urge to mother. They all knew that when given a doll, Anna was more likely to have the doll be a part of an audience for her to give a speech to than to pretend bath or nurse it. They all knew her too well.

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