twilight-isms have yielded a world

where love hurts and behind every

corner there is a would be billionaire

vampire waiting to sweep you off

your feet and carry you into his

dungeon of kink-dom making

your every wish come true so

fire up pinterest and get your

wedding dress on while

tagging your boards with cute-ish

baby gears and redecorate your life

with all the things your mother always

told you would require hard work and

at least a college degree

they don’t tell you

these romantic twists that

go best with spiked lattes

or carmel macchiatos that

after the big party

after the slow dances that last for

at least 10 months and the break ups

and the make ups and that hot

hanging from the chandelier (which isn’t humanly possible

given weight and gravity) sex that

when the big white (or pink if you prefer) dress comes off