if they can live it, i can hear it (and sometimes, perhaps, help heal it)

4 million children

like having your head in a vise it squeezes and squeezes then you feel like you can’t breath so you punch shit but that breaks your hands and then you end up in a hospital bed strapped to a pole and hocked up on drugs but still your head is being squoze and nobody seems to care but you’re sleeping so you know they leave you alone.

Suffer from a serious
(not made up; not pretend; not attention seeking)
mental illness

like being in one of the 3d picture movie mobiles where everything makes you feel like it’s right in your face and then you get squirted with water and everything shakes and there’s this voice sitting right next to you telling you scream or run or hide or snap and so you feel trapped and you can’t do none of that but you still keep hearing and feeling and seeing so you know eventually you have to get out of that mobile so yeah i really like being outside because its freer and i don’t have to deal with those machines no more. 

causing
significant functional impairment
at home
at school
with peers

its like going 100,000,000,000 miles an hour but you’re standing still and you have to touch it because its there and no you’re not suppose to but you have to and you feel this push this push this push to do in and then its in your mouth and it hurts but you can’t stop can’t stop can’t stop so you bite into it and then you’re bleeding and you’re drinking it and then you can’t breath and you don’t see and you pass out and its better.

half
lifetime cases of
mental illness
begin by
14

i know he’s not there i mean i know it i really know but still its like he’s right there and i can’t stop him again and again and again and it makes my skin crawl and i want to disappear but i think that even if i disappear he’ll still be right there and i can’t fucking take having him right there what right does he have to be inside my head like this this what right does he have to be inside me like this so i wanna kill because then i can be safe.

despite
effective treatments
there are long delays
between the first onset &
when people seek
& receive
help

i cut because it makes it better if i can make it bleed then it must be real and if its real than i’m not crazy because this shit is really happening and nobody can keep me from the truth of it sometimes though i just let it build up kind of like when you’re getting high and you hold on to that inhale you hold on to it like it’s a piece of fine china that you know if you drop it all the magic in it is gonna pop so i hold it in as long as i can and then just when i think my lungs are going to explode i let it go and it bleeds and for those 3 seconds when it bleeds i’m okay.

in any given year
20 percent of children
with mental illness are
identified and receive
help

8
hundred
thousand

out of

4
million
children

this is
the shit
we don’t have
to make up.

For more information on Child and Adolescent Mental Disorders and Support please follow this link to National Alliance on Mental Illness.

#OctPoWriMo Day 10
#OctPoWriMo Day 10

6 Comments Add yours

  1. seekingmeme says:

    I am weepy from reading this. The way you structured the poem is very effective. The almost-cold, news-like statement intermingled with the view inside the minds of the children is disturbing. And that is just as it should be. Thank you for taking part in the prompt for today.

    1. Thank you for reading. Most don’t consider that the onset for mental disorder occurs in childhood. This prompt was an opportunity for my personal soap box. I’d hoped I didn’t bore.

      1. seekingmeme says:

        Bore? Not hardly! EDUCATE! That’s what your poem did. Given that I wrote the prompt, I was thrilled to read your contribution. You really engaged in the spirit of the prompt that was intended. Thank you again! 🙂

  2. heyannis says:

    Bore? Hell no, Wanda. Your well-constructed poem is strong and sad and true. Thank you. xoA

    1. heyannis says:

      Oh, and when I saw the title, I was immediately drawn to the poem. It reminded me of folks who say they can’t bear to look at something or see a person in misery or sick or dying. Reminded me of why some people said they could not watch the movie “Twelve Years a Slave.” Please. xoA

    2. Well, I appreciate the fact that you took a couple minutes out of your day to not only read it but comment. Thank you.

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