nerd girl pep talk (the word is courage)

someone once called me a jackie of all trades. i thought it was a compliment until i began to overanalyze (a past-time of mine) the sentiment. in my life i’ve had opportunity to do many things. i’ve studied abroad, self published books, consulted with major industry and lead. there are a lot of things that i can do but i’m not so sure if being able to do something is the same as being a master of the task that is being done.

my achilles heel is i get bored.

i get bored a lot. and when i get bored i shift focus and move past whatever it is that i am doing to something else…more interesting. as a result i have more than 3 dozen incomplete projects scattered all over my house which in no way compares to all the half ideals cluttering my head.

i’m too old to still be this inattentive. i figured i would have grown out of it by 36 but alas 36 has come and gone and still i daydream myself into conundrums while sauntering into over-promising things no human could possibly juggle.

i am a hodgepodge of multitasking activity that never ends. i make resolution after resolution to change to stick to something anything for as long as it takes to complete it, but eventually i get bored and i lose focus and i start daydreaming about how come a rhinoceros can’t become a unicorn if it damn well wants to be. which has absolutely nothing to do with maintaining a blog or writing a book or opening a practice or completing a blanket that reminds my sister of the sweater she once stole from me because it was really warm and she needed it.

i no longer want to lollygag my way through life. my daydreaming is no longer cute or quirky to me. its just annoying and in the way of the work i want to create for the space i want to live both inside and outside of my head.

change, however, takes courage.

in order to be who you need to be you have to let go of who you are…it takes ovaries of steel to release the you you’ve know in order to become someone you’ve never met.

if nothing else…i’ve got ovaries.

the word is courage.

let’s see what happens.

One Comment Add yours

  1. christiana83 says:

    Ovaries of steel… I like it!

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