i use to be angry
screaming explicatives from stages
going into rages over simple things like
i wasn’t hugged enough or
you standing there chewing that gum
i would tell people with great accusation
my grandmother’s grandmother was a slave
and i would holler indigently at retorts about
migration and infinite servitude
i had no patience for the persecution of others
i couldn’t take time from my self inflicted
explosive disorder to pay attention to the idea that
maybe something happen at some point to
someone
else
i use to be angry
so angry in fact rooms would clear
at the idea of my coming near i was excluded from
conversations begun innocently about springtime blooming
because you never really knew what would
set
me
off
i get its difficult communing with someone whose temper
rises and there’s no way to really predict how what or when but
that just pissed me off more how dare you tiptoe around me
i’d berate and then instigate a battle
i use to be so angry
i could count an even 2 dozen things
to wage war over before breakfast
slavery was number one
inadequate health care number two
but i could go on and on with the
abortion issue
and the economic disenfranchisement of women everywhere or
the fact that prolife is so caught up with keeping babies in wombs
they have left little room to care for the ones that are already here
i hated prolife and disney too
who the fuck was barbie and why wasn’t ken hung
my general pisstivity knew no bounds i could rail in on children
with pants that slouch or music so loud i couldn’t hear
hendrix playing in my own background
i would get beside myself over the nonsensical and
tyrannical about the monotony of everyday adulthood
i felt like i’d been given a raw deal
laden with bills and dust bunnies
a conspiracy to get me to give more taxes
i use to be
so
angry
and i thought it was me
i thought i was only one who cared enough about
children dying women crying old men suffering and dogs going unspaded
i could not imagine that this energy i spent on screaming or
giving people the silent treatment
could have actually gone into something else like
planting a garden or signing a petition or sending money to africa or
joining up with NARAL or yoga or writing letters to congress or
sitting in on a neighborhood watch or tracing my family tree or
planning
a retreat or preaching or singing or learning about chess or taking pictures or
discovering the wonders of the panini sandwich
i wasted way too much time being angry
so now
i drink wine instead.