i.

at 46, i prefer to go my own way.

not that i was ever a person to follow.
i spent my formative years fighting the power.

now i eat cookies before i make dinner.
i don’t count calories or measure anything.
i figure whether i count it or not, the pot will boil.

ii.

at 36, i wanted nothing more than to be a mother.

he was all eyes and gummy smile.
i would sit and stare at him for hours on end.

he changed everything.
i’d known love but i hadn’t known love.
all of me was turned inside out and right side forward.

iii.

at 26, i was so in love.

i thought i couldn’t breath for the swelling of my heart.
looking at myself in the mirror i wondered, am i really changed.

of course, i wasn’t different only stretched.
i prayed for each of my friends that they too would find love.
later i discovered, they prayed for me to wake.

iv.

at 16, i covered my body in layers.

trench coats and converse were my uniform.
my mother was so frustrated.

but you’re such a pretty girl with a nice figure.
i was figuring out how to get out of dodge.
damn sure didn’t want anyone noticing my pretty.

v.

at 6, i just wanted to be left alone.

hiding in corners with books too big to hold.
my younger uncles teased me, told me i was weird.

but there was one, who championed me.
he nicknamed me wonder.
for me, he is a ray that shines forever.