my cupboards

empty of wine and chocolate

the first signs that this is

neither the time nor the place

to be messing with my money

anger has long been my go to

and let’s face it

i’m good at pissed

pissed allows me to yell

pissed allows me to curse

pissed allows me to be less

of the me i am when i have

not allowed pissed to take over

but being pissed i’m completely

okay with the things the lesser

me says and does

apologies are for mornings

anyway and having someone

tell me that there is a possibility

that something earned may not

be obtained leads me to a place

where ommmm…

ain’t

gon

get

it

so this is a story

about how i lower myself

to protect myself and

elevate those around me

i’ll take the blows

cause i can handle a hit

however beware the striker

must be because what will

be returned will be nuclear

the absolute dissemination of

the opponent the only goal

i am not above guerilla warfare

once the first blow is thrown

and i have never really

lost the habit of carrying

a switchblade in my shoe

though my weapon of choice

has always been words

words that sting

words that prick

words that tear

a solitary assault from

limb to annihilated limb

words can assault

words attack

words can kill

this is a fact

that i have lived

its not a game for me

this tug of war between wills

i’m in this for more than me

hell if it was only me

i’d have walked away

just taken my bright blue

balls and stepped out of line

no harm no foul

but its not just me

not anymore and i can’t

have someone anyone making

decisions that determine a tomorrow

not promised them

so today i let anger

direct the next decision

i let anger walk this line

i let anger do what anger

needs to do to make sure

there is no next time